21st July 2021
So today I should have been on my first day of a three day training course with my business coach Taz but unfortunately she tested positive for Covid and is now poorly. So I decided to behave and not fill my time up, as is my usual default setting.
However there has been an outstanding task that was started pre-covid. That is painting my bannister’s.
Stick with me on this; it is a stream of consciousness one!
So I had decided to use the same paint I used for the front door, so a super good paint BUT it takes at least 24 hours to dry. So pre-covid I could choose my days when the kids were at school and Hubster was either abroad or in London. The first coat was on in the main. Then of course we went in to lockdown, had a break , then lockdown, then various school closures, then if a kid had so much as a sniff more time off..……and on it went. The hall looked progressively more sorry for itself and yet I just could not bring myself to do it.
Now procrastination is not normally my thing, prioritisation can be an issue, but not procrastination. Having recently undertaken some serious empowerment training and normally having a positive can do attitude something just hit me the other evening – get on with it woman! Brain shift – let’s get some quicker drying paint – doh.
So when I found out my course was not going ahead I decided to use the last day of the kids being at school to get the task over the line.
So interestingly the same morning in a group chat with the coaching group I am in (led by Taz) one line hit me: ‘Enjoy the bannister’s and hopefully it will be like a mindfulness project for you.’ By this time I am already painting and Hubster has said ‘you look like you are enjoying that’ (I actually am).
However that was after daughter needing me to move off the stairs (yeah guess who is off sick today) and Facetime with my parents (I continued to paint) but Hubster asking me to pipe down before his next conference call. There is also the dodging of aforementioned Hubster; so if I am up a ladder or bending over he can’t keep his hands to himself. Sounds romantic but honestly the amount of times I could have knocked over the paint or banged my head! He knows I can’t react.
I am a faffer. I actually enjoy painting. It IS a mindfulness practice for me. Why on earth have I not done this sooner?
Then it hits me: I like being in flow. I like being in my own thoughts. I like painting.
However the pleasurable aspects of it were not all there. It felt like everyone was encroaching on it.
That was why I had been resisting.
So with this lightbulb moment I am reminded of how Covid has ‘taken’ this simple pleasure away. So many things it has taken. I am fed up, tearful in fact. I do some EFT on myself and a bit of breathwork.
Now with the first coat on my reflections are thus:
*Wish I had bought this paint the first flipping time. It is going on much easier, looks nicer and is drying rapidly.
*I do love a bit of painting.
*I am well and being active.
*Daughter cooked me a couple of hash browns and eggs to break my fast at 10am and they were lush.
*I am feeling sweaty and frumpy but my Hubster fails to notice.
*As I paint I recall my friend Heather and how hard she worked in her last house when she did beautiful stencils all up her stairs and landing. I miss her and that is another reason I am tearful. She died less than two weeks ago. I look at the bee pictures on my landing and am reminded of my bee tattoo; it was with Heather I went to the tattooist that day. I was blessed to have her in my life for as long as I did.
*It is not always about the mindset or the reframe, it is also the journey.
*I have also written this blog today.
*Covid is not going anywhere so it is time to stop searching for work arounds and Let It Be Easy.
Love & hugs,